Quick Read

You know the book I'm about to write about - it is everywhere.  Everyone is reading it, people are writing articles about it, it is all the buzz.  I had a networking lunch the other day with other professionals in the area, and it came up there.  Friends text me and send me notes about the book.  I had my virtual book club discuss it.  Yes, I am writing about 50 Shades of Grey.

It is funny how everyone I know who reads the book gets something different out of it.  It is like a train wreck that no one can put down once they start it, even though the writing is mediocre at best (sorry E.L. James - I still loved them all).  Many people get the guilty pleasure of reading an erotic novel (which most people have never actually read).  Beyond that, though, there are other messages in the books (particularly if you read book 2 and 3, which have a much more fleshed out story to them).

One friend of mine read them and really felt that the entrepreneurial spirit of Christian appealed to her, and she is thinking of starting her own business (which hopefully will be as successful as Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc. is in the book).  Another one pointed out that at its root, these books are the evolution of two people and their relationship (which makes sense to me).  Others (particularly my fellow singletons) got hope that they may find the man who can easily buy them Christian Louboutin's.  

So, what did you get from it (because you know you read it...)?   

40 Years of Wedded Bliss

My parents are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary this year.  Their love, friendship and support is evident in everything they do - from holding hands, to making sure to kiss each other good night each and every night.  I think the fact that I am still single helps me appreciate their love and joy that much more.  

The kids (i.e. my sister, brother, their spouses, and me) put together a party for them this past weekend. It poured the night before the party, and the day started out rainy, which made me a bit nervous and neurotic (particularly because so many people wanted to join us).  By noon, the skies cleared and it was a gorgeous day.  The rain actually kept the bugs away for the afternoon.  Turns out, this is exactly what happened on their wedding day.  There are some angels up above blessing their marriage!

As we were putting together the guest list and reaching out to their friends and family, it became so evident that my parents are loved by those around them.  Everyone wanted to join in the party, brought a dish to share, and had a good time.  Those that couldn't come sent heartfelt notes about how much my parents mean to them.  As their children, we know they are amazing people, and it is amazing to know that everyone else sees this as well.  

It's no surprise, though, that they are so well respected.  Both of my parents are retired but work harder than most people with a full time job.  They volunteer their time at a variety of organizations, and they always follow through on their word.  

I hope I make the kind of impression on people that my parents do, and I hope some day I will be celebrating a special anniversary with a special person, still holding hands.  

Love you mom and dad!!!  (and for those of you who are wondering, I wore flip-flops)

  

Hair

I try to avoid talking about it.  If I don't talk about it, it isn't real, right?  Since I was a teenager, I have been dealing with alopecia areata.  For those of you who don't know what that is, it is periodic baldness, usually bald spots in the back of the head.  I hate this, for obvious reasons.  I'm a girl, and a girl's hair is an intrigual part of her identity.  So I have been playing with how to style my hair to hide this "condition."

I know, I know, this is a minor thing to worry about - it is a non-life threatening bump in my life.  I could be losing my hair because I am fighting cancer.  I know a young woman, a good friend, who was brave enough to shave her own head when her hair started thinning out due to the chemo she had to undergo to treat her breast cancer.  Would I be that brave?

I don't know if I would be, but I like to think I would.  In the meantime, I explain to every new hair dresser why I have a large bald patch on the top of my head (which is the first one I've ever really struggled with hiding since my first spot when I was 16), and plug along.  So, due to a LivingSocial deal, I am trying some new treatment.  Some lasers, some product, lots of faith, and fingers crossed.

So why am I going public with something I've hidden for half my life?  Because at my consult for this leap of faith, I cried almost non-stop.  Everyone was super nice to me, although someone needs to tell them their walls are too thin, as I heard them explaining how upset I was.  The thing is, I am upset about having alopecia, but I'm more upset about having to admit it.  And I'm scared that I am not overcoming this on my own.  I don't want to have to get help.

There are two vivid memories I have about opening up to others and hearing scary things.  My uncle, who has alopecia as well, told me I could easily lose all of my hair and it won't grow back (which has happened to him).  Someone I thought was a good friend reacted to me opening up about my fears of losing my hair by saying that he had never thought he would have to worry about a girl losing her hair; now he had something else to ask his girlfriends as they started dating.  What - I could be totally bald someday?  What - would I repel guys with this?  (my uncle was well intentioned - my "friend" was being an ass)

So I didn't want to seek help - I want this to go away.  I may be bald one day (hopefully a really small possibility) - but there are great wigs out there.  If I repel a guy away, he wasn't worth it anyways.  So I'm trying my luck at something new - I'll keep you posted on how it goes.  And now you know my secret...

A Plea

Ok - I'm weighing in on the birth control issue, or my issue with the amount of energy and slander coming from it. Here is what is driving me absolutely nuts - men! Very few women are part of this debate, and that is super annoying to me. In today's world, where we are facing serious financial issues, violence, hunger, and other much larger issues, why are we wasting so much time on whether or not women should take the pill? I know at the root of this debate is the government mandate that Catholic organizations provide health care that covers birth control. Now I don't think anyone should be specifically mandated to do anything at this level - but I am not going to go on about my thoughts on this, because I don't have enough time and I'd lose half of you before I finished this post.

Here is what I truly want to talk about - the politicians, the religious leaders, and even my friends on facebook, that feel the need to talk about this issue are pretty much all male. Males who have never actually experienced the joy of menstruation (something that birth control pills can make much more manageable for most women). They have also moved away from the true issue to preach about the evils of birth control (because most people who are vocal about this are on this side of the argument). For every online blog post or article you can find about the dangers of birth control I can find one about the benefits (many of which have nothing to do with actually preventing pregnancy). You find an article that it increases the risks of some cancers - I can find an article about how it reduces the risks of others (http://www.livestrong.com/article/31023-advantages-taking-birth-control-pills/). I won't do this, though, because the actual issue here is not about a medication that is widely used.

My plea is this - stop using something that is a very personal choice for women to build your political platform or religious beliefs. As a practicing Catholic, I know that forgiveness and love are supposed to be the true meaning of this religion, so spreading half truths that can be hurtful for some, and make them second guess their choices, isn't fair. If you don't like the government mandate, fine. Stop turning it into a debate about the evils of birth control and stay focused on the main issue at hand. Lent started yesterday - maybe some people can give up focusing on and going on and on about choices they have never had to personally make and they can put some of that energy into helping others who truly need some help.

5 Days, 6 Women, No Drama

I just returned from an extended weekend away with the girls. We went to Vegas and it was awesome!!! None of us are serious gamblers, and some of us had never even been to Vegas. There were a ton of "we have to see this" and "oh my god, look at that" moments and we walked up and down the strip. We celebrated a good friend's birthday, did some people watching (ok, we did a lot of people watching), ate good food, drank some adult beverages, spent some time in the spa, and played some slots. The one thing we didn't do - we didn't fight or bicker. It was a drama free weekend, at least among us.

I found this so refreshing in a world full of drama. We could just spend time together, laugh a lot, and have a blast. If you don't know who you can do this with, look around. Find those friends who make you a happy person, an honest person, a better person, and hold on to them tight!

Ridiculous Pink Shoes (That I Love)

I love having friends that keep me grounded. I am truly a blessed individual, and I know it. I don't just have friends who make me feel better when I am blue (although they do that), but also friends that tell me when I'm being ridiculous. On a shopping outing the other day, my friend pointed out to me that I am willing to start a conversation with a guy I'm interested in, but as soon as it starts to look like it could turn into something more, I freeze up (and she jumps in and tries to help me). It got me thinking - why in the world do I do that? The easy answer - I'm scared of the change a relationship would bring into my life. I'm scared of being hurt, blah blah blah. I'm being ridiculous again.

So, my friend opened my eyes to something I didn't want to see, and it is something else I can work on. In the meantime, I went out and bought some gorgeous (and slightly ridiculous) pink sequined shoes. It will be hard to freeze up when I am wearing some stunning shoes! Cheers :-)

Control

My horoscope today:

No one else is affecting your life but you. Do not give other people the power.

What a true statement! It made me think of people who say they are in a rut, or who complain about where they are in life. You need to remember that you are where you are because of the choices you made, which are choices you cannot change. Everyone makes choices that they may have not been the best, but you can make the best of them. If you are not happy, make a change. Don't waste time lamenting past choices you have made - make the right ones moving forward.

It is easier to blame others and circumstances, though, than to make a change (which also equals risk). I can change my life - not anyone else. I can choose to eat healthy and work out, or I can choose to sit on the couch. I can go up to that stranger and say hello, or I can be shy. I can forgive those that hurt me or I can hold a grudge. Everyone has choices and control of their life - the big question is what are you going to do with that power (the wrong answer is give it to someone else...)

Happy New Years

It's January 1st - the day for making resolutions (many of which won't last to the end of January) and reflecting on the past year. We have a general belief in our family that odd years are harder than even years, so 2012 should be a great one! In all honesty, 2011 wasn't that bad, minus a few bumps, which means 2012 can only be amazing!

What will I remember when I look back on 2011? I will remember graduating with my MBA (or at least walking before we finished courses). I will remember my dad having surgery and then quitting smoking cold turkey (yay dad!!!). A fun trip to Colorado with good friends. A random snow storm in October followed by a super warm winter (40s on New Years Eve). An amazing friend and family member giving us a health scare, but coming out unscathed. A good friend's wedding. Hair issues. Lots and lots of blessings. Lots and lots of family and friends and support. Wine nights :-)

It was the year I was supposed to find love. One year ago, my brother-in-law filled out an online dating profile for me (that I never truly activated, because I didn't have the time or energy to make it worth my while). I know, I know, I need to make time for dating. I'm still not activating that account... So I can't add finding my true love to the list of things to remember from 2011 - but you never know what 2012 will bring! Either way, I can add the word love to the list of things that I will remember in 2011 - the love of all of the amazing people in my life.

So as I sit here and remember 2011, I also sit here and think about all of the possibilities of 2012. So my resolutions - I really really really want to run a marathon. My friend and I are going to start training and tackle this together (fingers crossed my knees hold out). That's my big resolution. I also resolve to appreciate all of the good things around me and not focus on the bad. Mindset is more than half the battle. Resolution #3 - take risks. I am definitely guilty of staying in a comfort zone, which is not going to bring about change, and (I know, cliche and all) change is good.

I'm excited to see what this year will bring - how about you?

Can Shoes Be Cursed?

I think I need to stop wearing a pair of my favorite shoes. They are my beautiful suede rose pumps, but when I choose to wear them, I tend to have really bad days. I have learned bad news, had to share bad news, and had a total breakdown three out of the four times I have worn them in the past month.

My parent's dog did try to chew them up (I caught him before they had any real damage done to them), but now I'm beginning to think I should have let him have them. I get excited when I have an outfit they will work with, and I'm ready to have a great day in them, but it isn't happening...

Not that I'm superstitious, but it may be time to enjoy these shoes on the shelf and not on my feet!

Tis the Season

It's the holiday season... (and I know you are all singing along with me on that one). Not only are people running around, overly concerned with making sure they get the right presents for people, or that people are buying the right gift for them, but it also seems to be the season of relationship changes. New relationships are starting and old relationships coming to a close or being rekindled. I know, this happens year round, but it seems to be even more poignant this time of year. It is also the time of year to reach out to old friends, whether by a card or a Christmas letter, or an overdue phone call. These real relationships are so much more important than relationsihps with material things (although I stand by the fact that I love my shoes!!!). Make sure you let those you love know they are loved. Even if you are dealing with one of those relationships coming to an end, know you are loved, and there is someone else who may need to hear that from you.

Christmas Tree

I just decorated my Christmas tree. I gave in and bought a small artificial tree, which was honestly quite hard for me to do. My whole life we have had live Christmas trees, and I have many fond memories of traipsing through the snow at my grandparents house to find the perfect tree. There was always a ton of snow (not 60 degrees out like it was today), and we had to clomp along behind my father. He made the footprints and we had to try to follow them or we would sink into the snow. Add to that my brother (the trouble maker) throwing snow balls or just pushing me and my sister into the snow - believe me, I was 100% innocent ;-). My dad likes to say that we always ended up picking the tree closest to the house, after wandering around for an hour or so, but what amazing memories. We would then go in and my grandmother had hot cocoa for us.

Once we got the tree home and set up, we would proceed to decorate, and bicker lovingly about whose homemade angel was put on the top. Even to this day, I wonder how the bulb with my brother's name remains almost perfectly intact, while my sister and I have bulbs that are coming apart. But they all still go on the tree, along with the bird for good luck and other memorable ornaments.

Other decorating memories are connected to my Gram (on my father's side). My sister and I always helped her decorate her tree, which was always an adventure in itself. Each decoration had a memory attached to it. I hung many of those decorations on my tree tonight, and it made me remember and smile (and cry a bit). I even have her manager under my tree.

So even though an artificial tree feels like cheating a bit, I have mine up with all of those decorations and memories connected to it. I'm sad remembering those I can't celebrate with this year, but I am also so thankful for the many holidays with them, and I am excited for the new traditions that come each year, thanks to all of the wonderful people who have entered my life.

Being Single

I just finished reading a book that pretty much was about me. I told all of my friends about the parallels, and was slightly freaked out at times. It was "Why I Love Singlehood" by Elisa Lorello and Sarah Girrell - Amazon recommended it to me on my Kindle site. As you may have guessed, the protagonist doesn't really LOVE being single (and neither do I), but she is a single woman in her early 30s who is trying to figure out what she wants (and searches for love) - she even loves shoes! She blogs about her adventures as a single woman, and her dating nightmares (I could also go on and on about those, but no worries, this won't become a blog about the single life, or looking for love, or anything along those lines).

Needless to say, the book struck a chord with me. It isn't often that I find a book that so closely parallels my thoughts and feelings, and I do read a lot. I think what people seem to forget in today's world of couples, servings for 2, and other various paired off aspects of the world, is that not everyone who is single is dying for a relationship, but that doesn't mean they want to be alone either. Sometimes, when you have been on your own, and self sufficient, for a length of time, it just becomes easier to stay that way. It is hard to open up and share your life with others. I know for a fact that I am guilty of that. I tend to shut people out as they get close, and not because I mean to. It is just easier to not depend on anyone else. (Wow, that sounds obnoxious, or just depressing, even to me)

Another thing the character in the book kept saying was that she had to be friends with anyone she dates first. I would typically agree with this, although if I am being totally honest this is another shield I put up. There has been more than one occasion when I have become friends with someone and then decided I didn't want to risk the friendship by showing any romantic interest. It's a fun trap I set up for myself... I guess I know I am searching for my best friend to spend my life with, but I need to be willing to take risks. I know all of that crap, but knowing it an acting on it are two different things. Maybe it's time to try a blind date or two?

So, anyways, I read the book, and was happy that the ending was a happy one, but it wasn't your typical, girl falls deeply in love with the right boy and they live happily ever after. Yes, there was an implication that she ends up with the right guy, and she does take a risk, but none of the saccharin sweet being swept off her feet and love at first sight shit that ends up in so many books. It was real life, which was refreshing.

Don't get me wrong, I finished that book and immediately read a Nora Roberts, saccharin sweet, girl being swept off her feet by the perfect combination of sweet, caring and burly manliness, and the ending was 100% happily ever after. Why did I choose that as my next read? I know these books aren't real, and I don't expect Prince Charming to come and dazzle me, but it is fun to read about.

So now I am working on my own story. I know I need to change some things, and I know when it is right I will be willing to take some risks. In the meantime, you may find I make some other changes (don't be surprised if I dye my hair bright red or buy some new shoes). Maybe I'll write my own book...

Happy Thanksgiving

It's that time of year again - turkey time! Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I love that it is a time to enjoy family, eat, drink, and in general be merry. You don't need to worry about whether or not you have remembered to buy presents for everyone, or if they will like what you got them, or making sure you wrap everything just right, blah blah blah. Thanksgiving doesn't have any of those fun hassles connected to them.

For my whole life, Thanksgiving has meant family time. My grandmother always hosted a large family get together, and the day continued late into the night with fun card games. We actually did our family Thanksgiving last weekend, and even though Gram isn't with us anymore, I am sure she looked down on our celebration and smiled. We laughed a ton, cried some, ate a lot, and in general had a great time. My family brings me strength while challenging me and making sure I stay at my best. Last weekend reminded me of that.

So tomorrow, when we are celebrating a second Thanksgiving with family friends, and my sister and brother are celebrating with their respective in-laws, I will remember how blessed I am. I am truly thankful for my family, as well as for my friends and my support system. I would not be the person I am today without them. I hope all of you have a chance to enjoy, celebrate, and be thankful for all you have tomorrow!

Shoes Can Make or Break Your Day

I've had a crazy hectic day... but it ended with drinks and dinner with two amazing women. We talked about life, love, plans, and how unpredictable things are. We also talked about shoes - flats, kit heels, 3 inch heals, suede pumps... things are always better with a beautiful pair of shoes. One of my friends shared the pearl of wisdom that shoes can make or break your day. Sadly, that is so true.

I can't tell you how many times I have bought shoes as therapy. I know it seems silly, but I could be drinking myself into a stupor, running away, or even going to other vices (not that I don't eat emotionally, but I've done better with that as well). I literally left a presentation where the woman was discussing a point in her life that she was trying to fill a void with cosmos, clothes and shoes, and I related to her, at least somewhat (I don't think I have too big of a void to fill). Guess where I went after that presentation - to Marshall's and bought a spectacular pair of rose pumps (although I was shopping for flats).

So I vow this - I will start taking control of things (beyond my shoe collection) to deal with my life and my frustrations. I will find solutions, not just therapy. I will also start accepting help from those who offer it - even if it is just to listen to me explain why I'm feeling sad and offer a shoulder to cry on. I can't assume I'm putting people out by leaning on them - they may actually want to help me. I need to be open to that kind of support otherwise I will stay single and stubborn for the rest of my life. I don't want that to happen - I do want to share my life with my soulmate (whoever and wherever he may be).

So thank you ladies, for helping me make some changes in my attitude. I'm taking control (and wearing my rose pumps while doing just that). Those shoes are going to make my day!

Running Shoes

I'm exhausted! I feel like I have been going non-stop for weeks now. Don't get me wrong - I've been playing as hard as I've been working. Still, I'm tired. Ironically, I finally have a weekend at home to chill and I almost drove three hours to visit family. I know I would have had a good time, but I also know I need to rest so I can be at least somewhat functional this week.

While I have been running around, I have been doing a lot of thinking. All of this running makes for little time to focus on me. Not that I think being selfish is a good thing, but I am always the first to tell people they need to take time to take care of themselves, otherwise they are no good to anyone else. I saw this first hand when I had a total and utter breakdown while leaving my brother's house, and I have no idea why. I trully think it was because I didn't want to get in my car and drive yet again. Why can't all my loved ones live closer?

So here is my vow - I am going to relax and take some time to take care of me. I may even schedule a spa day to relax away my worries. Maybe I'll even find time to go on a date, you never know. In the meantime, thank you to all of my loved ones for dealing with me as I roller coaster through emotions in this hectic time in my life. I promise I'll even out at some point...

Doctors Need to Learn Customer Service

I'll start by apologizing for being long-winded and whiny, but I need to vent. I have been dealing with random hair issues on and off since I was a teenager, and they have flared up over the past year. Since it didn't work itself out, I figured it was time to see a doctor to make sure there weren't any underlying issues. Thinking I needed a referral (which it turns out I didn't, but oh well), I went to my primary care physician. Now I am bad about going to the doctors, and I hadn't had blood work in too many years (and I know the importance of knowing your numbers - I do at least track my blood pressure). It was a big step for me to make the appointment, but I did it.

My doctor did have blood work done and gave me a referral to a dermatologist. He gave me the choice of 2 dermatologists - one would take a few months to get into and the other was a little rough around the edges, but he would be able to treat me sooner and my doctor had faith he would do a good job, so I decided to go with the second doctor.

At this point, I was feeling good about my effort to at least go to the doctor, and I felt optimistic that maybe I would be able to get some help. And then it all went downhill... I told my mom about the dermatologist I was going to, and she groaned and stated she didn't like him when she saw him. Now this should have been a real red flag for me - my mom and I are pretty easy going and have similar tolerance levels for people. Still, I moved forward and had an appointment.

My primary asked me to call him back in 4-5 days for the results of my blood work. Tip #1 for doctors - you should take the initiative to call your patients with this info when you receive it and not expect them to have to call you. Anyways - I called 4 business days later and the receptionist told me the doctor wasn't in - please call back the next day. Again, my number should have been written down and the doctor should have called me, but oh well. At this point I'm still feeling optimistic...

The next day, I call my doctor, and the receptionist asks me to "please hold" and places me on hold - for 12 minutes (without any on hold music, so I had to keep checking that I hadn't accidentally hung up). She then returns and asks why I'm calling - I give her my name and tell her I am calling for blood work results. "OK, please hold for a moment..." 15 minutes later I hang up the phone and try to call her back to give her my number to have the doctor call me when he is available. When she answers she doesn't ask who I am, why I am calling, or any of that - she says "Can you please hold?" and, without waiting for an answer to her question, puts me back on hold - so I hung up again. I again stand by the idea that my number should have been taken and the doctor should have called me back when he was available. What if I had serious symptoms? What if something was wrong? Isn't your doctor supposed to care about you and your time? Isn't his staff supposed to care?

So about 20 minutes later, my mom calls to tell me the doctor just called her with results (which they couldn't give her, because she is not me). Now about a year ago, I dealt with some serious trauma, so I was living at my parents house for a month, but I know they have my cell phone number. If they had asked for it the first 3 times I called, this never would have happened. So, I call them back (again), and my favorite receptionist answers. I explain she called the wrong number, so she says "We should update that" - when I give her my number, she states "Oh, that is the number we have in the computer, I must have gotten the other number from an old chart" (grrrr) "Please hold and I'll get the doctor for you..." (Grrrr again) - 15 minutes of silent on hold, I hang up. The doctor never called me back - I had to call him another day for the results (which were all good, so at least there is happy news there).

I know I'm being long winded, but I'm not done. Now that I know my thyroid is all good and my numbers are good, I am prepared for the dermatologist appointment, still feeling optimistic. I went yesterday, and I was not impressed. The initial office staff was good, but when I got back into the exam room, the doctor entered without knocking, asked a rapid fire set of questions, responded to my answers by talking medical speak to the assistant with him, who was entering it in the computer, told me things I already knew about my hair, and decided I needed monthly cortisone shots in my scalp... Ouch! OK, this is fine - I can handle this. He then told me, again, things I already knew about my hair and proceeded to prick me with needles (at this point, he thought he would start asking about my work and me as a person - too late!) It hurt, and I really disliked him, and I was feeling really disheartened by the whole thing, and I just wanted to cry. He left by saying "see you in 4 weeks" (no "have a nice day" "it was nice meeting you" or even "thanks for coming in, we can help you with this"). I doubt he even remembers me today - he never took any time to get to know who I was beyond my hair issues.

Anyone who knows me, knows I am a super emotional person, and I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. I know I had visible tears in my eyes, but the assistant in the office just said "exit is to the left." I feel like a more appropriate answer would have been "we can help with this, take a moment to relax and then you can head out to check out. The door is on your left." Basic courtesy is the start of customer service, and, again, doctors and their staff are supposed to care about their patients...

The receptionist didn't acknowledge my level of distraught either - she just made my appointment for 4 weeks later and handed me my receipt (they had taken payment before I even saw the doctor). I then proceeded to walk to my car and cry for most of the 45 minute ride back to work. Needless to say, I am calling to cancel the follow up appointment in four weeks and I will never go back to that office again.

Anyone know of a good doctor and/or dermatologist I could go see?

How do I help?

It's been a wild ride here in upstate NY. The weather has been unpredictable, and people's lives have been changed forever. Hurricane Irene caused flooding, and now we are dealing with rivers and creeks rising again due to the rain we have gotten today. I cannot even fathom what the people are dealing with who have lost their homes, livelihoods, and other possessions that are irreplaceable. How can we help? How can we comfort them? What can we do?

There are a lot of different ways we can help, and the real issue is how do we find what is right for each individual? I'll admit, I am afraid to venture to the flood ravished areas, and I'm not sure how effective I would be volunteering directly there. Maybe that makes me a coward; maybe it makes me a realist; it definitely makes me a person who refuses to go somewhere just to see the damage. The idea that mother nature can have that power, and that people are helpless at this time, is a bit too much for me to handle. Still, I need to do something. I am donating food and other goods where I can. I'm collecting for others to donate for them. Still, we need to band together and help these victims. We need to rebuild like the strong American people we are. I'm sure the people effected will do just that; I just hope they get a break soon to start rebuilding.

Outlook

I am happy to be starting a new week! I could do a run down of something not so good that happened every day last week, Monday - Friday, which left me feeling emotional and raw. It didn't, however, stop me from having a blast this weekend with family and friends. Life truly is about your outlook, and I managed to prove that to myself. Things turn around and get better - you just need to know when to take a break and step back from the craziness that is your day to day life. So, even though I'm feeling better overall about life, here goes a rehashing of some of the events and emotions that were last week for me.

Even when things look grim, family is there to pull you out and save you, whether with a well placed phone call, a hug, or even providing the resources to make something work out. I am blessed to have the family I do to help me through anything that comes up.

I'm worried that my back has been hurting for almost 3 weeks now, and my high heals may be part of the issue. I am going to drag myself to the doctor, though, and let him tell me how to fix it and what not to do. Hopefully the heals are fine :-)

I'm sad I wasn't able to join my friends for a wild ride at the Warrior Dash this weekend, but I had to realize that I can't push myself right now (which actually gets me mad). They did keep me posted with awesome stories, so next year I can take on that challenge.

A round of golf with a friend you haven't seen in years is a great way to relieve stress. It's even better when other friends are able to join you.

A lesson reinforced (because I have learned it many times): Your hair can be your best friend or your worst enemy - make the most out of what you have.

There are some things out of your control - it's OK to feel upset about them, but it isn't OK to dwell on these feelings or let them manifest into a negative outlook. Worry about your loved one who has to have a small procedure done - send some love and prayers their way and trust they will be ok.

Biggest trend from last week for me: Stay positive and keep moving - good things will come your way. And when all else fails, buy yourself some fabulous new shoes (which I have amazingly been able to avoid doing this past week).

Best Laid Plans

We spend so much time planning life - planning our careers, weekend getaways, weekly meal plans, you name it. I am a planner. I like to know when I am supposed to be certain places, what is expected of me, etc. Still, this weekend reminded me how much fun things going against the meticulous plan can be a true blessing in disguise.

The plan - I would head down to the Culinary Institute of America with three friends for a fun filled day of good food and great company. I had looked at the website many times to prepare, and I was excited for the day. The one thing I didn't do (the one thing none of us going on this adventure did) was click on the link that listed the closings for the CIA. We drove almost 2 hours to see a barrier across the entry way and a sign saying they would open up August 3rd. We drove around a bit (until the security guard asked us to leave) and then needed to find a new adventure.

If I had been with other people, with other personalities, this would have been a disaster. It wasn't, though. We stopped at a historical site and a facebook update helped me connect with a friend I hadn't seen in over 10 years who was nearby, and we met up for lunch. We all laughed a lot. After lunch, we did some shopping, found a great Mexican restaurant where they made the guacamole at the table for you, and did some more shopping. It was a great day, and I think I can speak for everyone involved that we had a blast.

Sometimes, planning is overrated!

Self Help Books

As many of you know, Borders is closing. This is very sad for me - I love a good book, and spending some time searching for my next treasure in a bookstore is a favorite activity of mine. I know, I should be supporting local bookstores (which I do), but Borders has been my go-to large bookstore for years, and I'm sad to see it go. (I'm also an avid kindle user, which I also know is one of the things that has made Borders a soon to be thing of the past).

Anyways, where I am going with this is actually a rant about self help books. I decided to hit up my local Borders to check out their deals as they go out of business (I am sad to see them go, but I'm a sucker for a good deal). They have bargain books in front, and one of them was a self help "find your inner and outer beauty" book/manual/guide/faithful companion, etc. And... It was only $3.99 (plus 10% off that!!!)

So I bought the book. On the way home, though, I started thinking about all the money I have spent on books to better myself, even though I have to say I really like who I am. I'm know there are things I would like to change - I could lose a few pounds, I could drink less caffeine, I could learn to be a little less stubborn and independent, blah blah blah. The key is, I know what I would like to change, and I also know how to change these things through determination, but I'm overall happy with my life and who I am, so I don't bother. So why do I keep buying books that have quick fixes in them (that never work)? Maybe that is what I need to change about myself - stop spending money on self help books!

I may read through this book, or I may add it to the pile on my coffee table (right on top of a weight loss book for busy professionals I bought at Marshall's for $3.99) and forget about it until I make room for it on my book case. I'll let you know how I make out.

In the meantime, I was able to resist a 2012 calendar full of pictures of shoes (it wasn't a great deal), so if anyone wants to pick that up for me feel free.

Happy weekend!