Sunday, November 27, 2011

Being Single

I just finished reading a book that pretty much was about me. I told all of my friends about the parallels, and was slightly freaked out at times. It was "Why I Love Singlehood" by Elisa Lorello and Sarah Girrell - Amazon recommended it to me on my Kindle site. As you may have guessed, the protagonist doesn't really LOVE being single (and neither do I), but she is a single woman in her early 30s who is trying to figure out what she wants (and searches for love) - she even loves shoes! She blogs about her adventures as a single woman, and her dating nightmares (I could also go on and on about those, but no worries, this won't become a blog about the single life, or looking for love, or anything along those lines).

Needless to say, the book struck a chord with me. It isn't often that I find a book that so closely parallels my thoughts and feelings, and I do read a lot. I think what people seem to forget in today's world of couples, servings for 2, and other various paired off aspects of the world, is that not everyone who is single is dying for a relationship, but that doesn't mean they want to be alone either. Sometimes, when you have been on your own, and self sufficient, for a length of time, it just becomes easier to stay that way. It is hard to open up and share your life with others. I know for a fact that I am guilty of that. I tend to shut people out as they get close, and not because I mean to. It is just easier to not depend on anyone else. (Wow, that sounds obnoxious, or just depressing, even to me)

Another thing the character in the book kept saying was that she had to be friends with anyone she dates first. I would typically agree with this, although if I am being totally honest this is another shield I put up. There has been more than one occasion when I have become friends with someone and then decided I didn't want to risk the friendship by showing any romantic interest. It's a fun trap I set up for myself... I guess I know I am searching for my best friend to spend my life with, but I need to be willing to take risks. I know all of that crap, but knowing it an acting on it are two different things. Maybe it's time to try a blind date or two?

So, anyways, I read the book, and was happy that the ending was a happy one, but it wasn't your typical, girl falls deeply in love with the right boy and they live happily ever after. Yes, there was an implication that she ends up with the right guy, and she does take a risk, but none of the saccharin sweet being swept off her feet and love at first sight shit that ends up in so many books. It was real life, which was refreshing.

Don't get me wrong, I finished that book and immediately read a Nora Roberts, saccharin sweet, girl being swept off her feet by the perfect combination of sweet, caring and burly manliness, and the ending was 100% happily ever after. Why did I choose that as my next read? I know these books aren't real, and I don't expect Prince Charming to come and dazzle me, but it is fun to read about.

So now I am working on my own story. I know I need to change some things, and I know when it is right I will be willing to take some risks. In the meantime, you may find I make some other changes (don't be surprised if I dye my hair bright red or buy some new shoes). Maybe I'll write my own book...

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